Mystical Technique of the Month:
Acceptance
As we celebrate a truly honourable day today by remembering all those that have fought for the freedoms we enjoy, I thought of doing my technique of the month on acceptance which of course is the end result of mourning, bereavement and grief or that feeling of having lost something or someone. Instead of a podcast, I have outlined the technique on this page so that you may read it immediately.
The components leading to acceptance in time of loss
Impact – Shock: This is the stage where you receive the news, you receive the information which ultimately leads to the other steps you are going to be feeling over time. It is the shock or the sudden surprise that shows you another reality which you where not aware of a couple of seconds ago. It is the stage where reality all of a sudden changes and is no longer real. It is the stage at which your confidence about a belief you held is all of a sudden shaken to its foundation. This can be true with any type of sudden shift in perception and belief.
Denial: At this stage the reality has not set in yet. The impact is so swift and dramatic that you don’t and can’t believe the perception you are presented with or are experiencing. You’ve just heard the news and your sense of balance (your 7th sense) completely goes askew. Your sense tries to balance what it knows from the past and attempts to make sense of it with the information you’ve just received. The speed at which the event you’ve just experienced, the news you just got or the thing your mind is being asked to compute is very overwhelming to you, and so it decides that it’s not true or “it simply can’t be”, hence the denial. It’s not that you don’t want to accept it as some people often think, “you simply you can’t accept the fact that …”, it’s that the facts in your mind cannot be accepted because the truth of it would break the integrity of your system and cause you to go into meltdown or worse. At this point, it is an attempt for your mind to keep itself stable until it is able to process new information that will allow it to cope with the sudden shift in expectation.
Anger: As you start realizing the possibility of the loss, or the illusion you have is gone, you start to immediately feel a sense of loss of value. You may get angry because you have just realized you’re going to be alone now, or that they or something left you. You begin to feel an intense loss within you now and the anger starts to set in. You may blame others, believe it’s unfair, or blame yourself for something you may have done or omitted to do.
Solutions at this stage: Respect yourself by being honest about your feelings and find a way to express it constructively. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Allow yourself to regain that sense of value you believe you lost by the loss. By regaining that perception of loss of value it will bring you that much closer to acceptance.
Bargaining: At this stage you start negotiating, bargaining, for the person to come back or want to offer some type of exchange if they stay. You start making promises that if someone or something comes back you will be better, you will do better. It seems to be a last attempt at wanting to hang on to something or someone.
Bargaining usually takes the form of:
• If only I had done, sough x sooner
• What if X
• If only X
Solution at this stage: Allow yourself to deal with the emotions when they come up. Like anger, allow yourself to express yourself in a constructive way so as to honour your feelings and then process them in a natural way.
Depression: after bargaining this stage comes because you start feeling powerless and the anger having set in you start feeling that you have no right to be angry. From an intuitive stand point and from experience I see that this is also the stage where you start feeling as if the person has left your resonance, your field of vibration. If they were a part of you, that part now seems gone and so you are left to feel empty and alone.
Solution at this stage: Allow yourself to step out of this mood by meeting new people, learning new things and rediscovering yourself. This process does take some time and has to follow its natural course. Allow yourself to deal with the anger so that you can go towards acceptance.
Acceptance: This is the level that allows you to feel that you can move on. It is when you have finally stepped out of that energy of loss and have begun to be able to cope with the reality that has changed. It feels as if the pass was a dream and you woke up to something new. It is the stage at which when you look back you can now perceive it differently and are able to be able to focus once again. Acceptance usually comes with understanding and understanding is usually what enables you to deal with the pain of loss.
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